Sephiroth's School to Supernova
by Derek the Demon Prince
Summary: General Sephiroth was bored one day and decided to accept a mission instead of slicing it to bits with Masamune. So now he's stuck trying to recruit third graders for Soldier. Completely Random


**Hey guys, what's up? I was at a standstill in my other fanfiction (too many ideas keep popping up in my head!!...) Anyway, this is a ridiculous idea that I came up with. It'll be a one-shot for now so I hope you enjoy! I don't own Final Fantasy Seven or Kingdom Hearts. I also don't own the referances made either.**

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The ultimate bad-ass...I mean General Sephiroth was sitting in his office, waiting ever so patiently for the next assignment Shinra was going to give him. What I mean is, he's going insane in his chair, slashing at pictures of his pastime with Masamune. Yep, he was pretty close to losing it. Just then, a familiar spiky black hair walked into the room, it's pretty sad because he classifies people by their hair. Sephiroth stared at Zack who smirked at him. Sephiroth sighed before holding out his hand, Masamune not in it mind you. Zack handed him the folder he had and walked off whistling. Sephiroth chuckled evilly. He knew Zack was weaker than him because his hair was so much crappier.

"_As a good man Vegeta once said, a man's hair is a man's power," _Sephiroth thought with his calm yet eery smirk that made people cry upon seeing it. Just then, he considered throwing the papers into the air and slashing them into particles, but then he realized that the whole reason he was bored to death because he did so with the last fifty assignments. So he opened the folder and took the last piece of paper in it. He signed the paper without reading it and waited ever so patiently for his assignment.

Sephiroth waited four hours until he came up with a brilliant conclusion. It was so genius, that even Jenova wouldn't have been able to come up with it. Sephiroth laughed evilly as he walked out of his office and turned in the folder to the receptionist. Sephiroth laughed at his genius as he went to his office and sat down.

After approximately thirteen hours, Zack walked in again. This time, it looked like he was holding laughter, as his face was red.

"S-sir," Zack spat out. "The assignment you agreed to..." Zack couldn't finish because he broke out and laughed at the great Sephiroth. Sephiroth was irritated and gave Zack his evil death glare. Zack, of course, peed himself and shut up.

"My assignment, as you were saying," Sephiroth muttered, looking back from Zack to Masamune, very imaginative ideas flowing freely through his mind. Zack gulped.

"Umm...The assignment will progress in thirty minutes sir. I am to accompany you there as ordered sir," Zack replied monotonously. Sephiroth sighed before standing up. He sheathed Masamune and walked out the door, Zack following close behind like a good little puppet. They walked out of the building and into a black limo. They sat in silence, drinking the blood of the innocent, or "coffee". The limo halted and Sephiroth stepped out. He turned to see where he had stopped and paled at what he saw.

"What is the meaning of this," Sephiroth asked calmly, despite his surprise. He stood, in front of an elementary school, booming with children who laughed as if there was no worries. Then, Sephiroth grinned. "Of course, I am to kill these pitiful humans, to purge them of their pitiful existence and remedy their insolence," Sephiroth stated cooly as he started to unsheathe Masamune. Instantly Zack reached out his hand to stop Sephiroth.

"Wait! That's not the mission sir," Zack exclaimed. Sephiroth turned to Zack with his eyebrow slightly raised up. "Your mission...is to teach in the place of a sick teacher for a few third graders," Zack said hesitantly. Sephiroth's eyes widened considerably.

"No...That can't be true...You're lying," Sephiroth retorted in disbelief.

"Sir?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! I SHOULD SLASH YOU TO BITS! BURN THE REMAINS! DAMN YOU TO HELL ZACK," Sephiroth screamed as he held his head in frustration. Zack cried as he wet himself once more..

"I'm sorry sir, please forgive me!! Besides," Zack started freaking out. "This is a good opportunity for us! Think of the Soldiers we could have," Zack exclaimed. Sephiroth sighed.

"Indeed Zack, I'm promoting you after this," Sephiroth answered. Zack nearly jumped up in glee. Sephiroth almost _**never **_promotes anyone...without killing somebody else...Now Zack pitied the poor idiot he would replace. Zack sighed.

"Now Sephiroth, we're under strict orders to watch and teach these children, we can't go around and "poison their minds" or kill them when we feel like it," Zack explained. Sephiroth then gave another sigh in response.

"This is going to be a nuisance," Sephiroth muttered.

Upon entering the school, he went to the front office and received a card with the classroom number on it. Sephiroth treated the people he met like a gentlemen would, occasionally slipping death threats under guise of jokes. When Sephiroth entered the classroom and twitched at what he saw. He saw the students, soon to be Soldiers behaving quite well, sitting in their desks quietly studying. Sephiroth nodded in approval before moving to his desk. Then Sephiroth saw a problem, he could obviously see the glue sticking to his seat, Sephiroth was not amused. "Tell me class...Have you ever tried this mediocre trick on someone before," Sephiroth asked cooly. He then turned to the class, his eyes glowed a light green as he murderously glared at the children. Then, he evilly smirked at their apparent fear for himself and cackled insanely. "I am General Sephiroth, and from now on, we're doing things my way." The class stared at him fearfully for a minute before hearing laughter. Sephiroth raised an eye to see a child, with long silver hair like himself laughing at him. He had light aqua blue eyes.

"Do you think you're scary or something," the silver haired boy asked almost as cooly as Sephiroth. Sephiroth raised an eye and smirked.

"On the contrary, I do. Child, what is your name," Sephiroth asked.

"Riku."

"Riku huh? Well then Riku, allow me to show you just how scary I truly am. See your pencil in front of you," Sephiroth asked him. Riku merely nodded. "Well then, you should take a step back for your own safety...**Supernova**," Sephiroth muttered. All the children raised an eye when the classroom faded into what seemed to be outer space. Then a long mathematical equation appeared in front of them along with a summoning circle. Suddenly, a meteor crashed through the circle and started flying towards an unknown galaxy. The kids were visibly twitching when the meteor crashed through planets, completely obliterating them. Then it hit a star, causing it to expand ten thousand times it's size, absorbing all the planets unfortunate enough to be near it. Sephiroth smirked at the fearful children before stepping into the expanding star. The class cried and ran into the wall of the room, trying to escape. The star continued to expand, the poor pencil mentioned earlier was decimated into nothingness. Soon, it all faded away, leaving the scared children and Sephiroth in the classroom. "I suppose that should be enough to suffice," Sephiroth muttered. Riku then broke out in tears as he crouched onto the ground and held his knees close to him.

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Unfortunately, the teacher next door had walked in and seen this and promptly fainted. Now Sephiroth would be teaching two classes. His now larger class sat in his classroom. Half of them were laughing as they told jokes and threw stuff at each other, the other half were sitting fearfully for their lives, crying as if their lives were to end any minute. Then, an innocent red haired girl tugged at his arm. He looked down to see big cerulean eyes staring at him.

"Your hair looks pretty. What shampoo do you use on it mister," the girl asked. Sephiroth smirked.

"What is your name miss?"

"Kairi."

"Well then Kairi, the shampoo I use is the blood of the innocent," Sephiroth lied to see the scared senseless reaction of the girl. To his dismay, he did not.

"Really? That's what I use but when I tell people, they call me crazy. My mommy gave me some when she went bye-bye," Kairi explained, causing Sephiroth to twitch. "My hair used to be brown." Sephiroth gave a nervous laugh and took two steps away.

"Geez, and I thought I was insane," Sephiroth muttered to himself. Sephiroth while teaching class, tried to keep as much distance between himself and Kairi in fear for his blood. While doing so, he nearly forgot that he was supposed to teach them. "Anyway...We'll be studying history," Sephiroth said cooly. The class stared blankly at him. Sephiroth sighed. "That means pull out your books dimwits." The class quickly did so and started reading, despite the fact Sephiroth didn't tell them what pages. "So class, why did Aeris die," Sephiroth asked them. The kids stared blankly at them.

"Umm..That didn't happen for another ten years sir," one of the kids answered him. Sephiroth smacked his face and cursed Square Enix for not telling him sooner.

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"Anyway...this seems pointless, so I'll get to the point, I'll be brainwashing you to join Soldier within the next five minutes," Sephiroth exclaimed. The kids shouted at him.

"That's not fair," one of them exclaimed. Sephiroth laughed evilly.

"It's a common recruiting technique, get over it," Sephiroth replied monotonously before cackling evilly once more. One blonde haired kid stood up and glared defiantly.

"I'll stop you Sephiroth," he exclaimed. Sephiroth laughed before swinging Masamune at him. The said kid ducked and tried to swing his fist at Sephiroth.

"Pitiful attempt Cloud, if you wish to kill me, then you must foster your hatred, clinging to your pitiful existence, hating me until you can," Sephiroth said.

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Somewhere, Itachi sneezed.

"Someone must be stealing my hate speech again...Foolish little brother," Itachi said cooly.

* * *

Sephiroth laughed as the brainwashing commenced, turning them into killing machines. "Yes foolish children! Together we sail the darkness of the cosmos, destroying all in our way. Hahaha," Sephiroth cackled. Then the world faded into nothingness.

Sephiroth awoke that morning twitching.

"That was a weird dream..." Sephiroth then stood up majestically and stared into a mirror. "Nope, still sane. Dearest mother, today we perish life on the planet," Sephiroth said, bringing Masamune out of nowhere and slashing the mirror, breaking it to pieces. What Sephiroth didn't know, was that he had just sealed his fate.

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**Hey, I know it was pretty stupid and random, but it needs to come out sometime. Well, review if you enjoyed it.**


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